Presenter: Welcome back
APPLAUSE
Presenter: Ladies and gentlemen, the topics that I will suggest for our next CHIT CHAT session are: Kara Tointon breaks down on Comic Relief Trek, Emmerdale's Charity beds boss Jai, Alyssa Milano is pregnant, Kylie Minogue thinking about marriage, Ipad outselling other tablet rivals, Ashton Kutcher for Ghostbusters III, Raoul Moat 'planned to turn dead badger into a hat', Rihanna sold 10 million albums in the UK.......
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Presenter: X5, pay attention, we have a caller on the line. Caller, you are ON, which of our suggested topics would you like us to chit chat on tonight?
Caller1: Holy crap! The VAT rise has been a nightmare. A good deal of our products needed re-pricing. I have never felt this bored and fatigued at work...
X5: (interrupting) WHATS UP?
Caller: VAT…..
X5: ...not conducive to economic growth. I think the Chancellor has made a huge mistake...Charity begins at home. Too much of our hard earned money is been sent abroad as aid.....
Caller: No Comment....tuition fees, congestion charge, train and bus fares. In March, council tax will be hiked as well. To make matters worse, the rich seem to be getting richer, whereas, the poor getting even poorer. I hope none of the other viewers or anyone in the studio audience is mad at the people who wished you happy New Year just days before. No doubt, life will become increasingly harder for a lot of people. But the survival instinct in us will help us cope. This phase we are going through cannot last. So hold on to your New Year resolutions, dreams and high hopes.
APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
Presenter: Well said , caller, well said.
X5: In our shop, we encountered literally hundreds of price tags that needed to be changed before midnight. Normally, we closed at 5pm sharp. Not yesterday. I almost screamed, tempers flared across the shop floor. We were so tired when we finally finished, we almost forgot to program the 2.5 VAT increase in the computer. I knew I should have called in sick. This is the best way to avoid tiresome and tedious tasks such as this. Reached home about 2 am. I suspect the other members of the A team who lived much further reached home much later.
Caller: Well, I hope Facebook will not close, I wouldn’t want to crawl back to BEBO. Hate it!
BOO, SHOUTS OF DISAPPROVAL
Presenter: You must stick to the original topic that you selected
Caller: I know the rules, I just forget. Sorry.
X5: Totally unaware that VAT went up by 2.5%, today the beggar on the train was still asking for 37p to buy something to eat. I gave him 43pm..
Caller: Today, most customers complained to staff. I didn’t think they would be in the mood to show any sympathy towards my fingers, still aching from the previous night’s ordeal, so I kept quiet. They seemed so pissed off sometime when I told them that the prices for their items was inclusive of VAT. No one wants to be reminded. No one can blame them for feeling this way, especially if they were already struggling when VAT was rolled back to 15%.
Presenter: I heard quite a number of shops did not update their price tags and computer system in time. So their customers were pretty unhappy, especially as they were simply being charged higher prices at the tills. Any thoughts on that?
Caller: Unfortunately, our shop was not prepared to absorb the VAT increase. It passed it on straight to customers. John Lewis and Topman said they would be the last shops to increase prices. Well done Sir Phillip Green. They accused him of tax avoidance to the tune of 285 million, but I don’t believe a word of it. He seems too devoted to his wife to use her in that fashion. Anyway, shops that freeze prices now can only do so for a limited period. So stack up on your guilty pleasures as quickly as you can.
X5: The 2.5 increase VAT makes me hungry. Every time I eat something I feel guilty.
Presenter: VAT will not be applicable to second hand or vintage products, kids’ clothes and food but don’t be surprised if Macdonald’s charge you a little more for your Big Mac. While some retailers vow to keep their prices unchanged, others will undoubtedly pass on the tax increase to customers. Please bear in mind that the former cannot freeze their prices indefinitely. Sooner or later, they will have to increase their price list. So if you were quite pleased with yourself for being able to buy your Jaffa cakes just before the VAT increase took effect, you better wipe that smug grin off your face now.
Caller: The VAT increase is bad for the economy as things will become more expensive, people will cut back on their expenditures. The result of this is increased job losses. People are more likely to spend if VAT is at 17.5% instead of 20%. If you were ever in doubt whether you could purchase a particular item, it must be clearer now. It’s impossible for anyone to purchase more goods and services if their purchasing power has been diminished. So how is the economy going to get stimulated?
Presenter: (jokingly) It might have to do it itself.
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
X5: I was forced to curb my use of Data Services and Roaming. Too afraid, I will be sent a massive bill plus 20% VAT. This is so inconvenient...
Thursday, 24 February 2011
Friday, 18 February 2011
Falling asleep on the train
Caller: It’s okay for another passenger to sleep on my shoulder on the train, but if she/he starts to drool on me, I will scream until he/she wakes up
V18: I slept like a baby on the train this evening, even though I hit my head on the window a few times
LAUGHTER
Caller: That happened to me this morning... It’s good to be woken up before you do anything embarrassing, but not in that fashion
Presenter: I fell asleep on the train but was woken up when I farted loudly.
LAUGHTER
Caller: I think it’s hilarious when people wake up themselves by falling forward
LAUGHTER and APPLAUSE
V18: Even more hilarious when the person holding a SLEEPY baby is also drifting off to sleep
Audience: AHHHHH!
V18: Caller, you must have been very tired this morning. So what were you doing last night, if you don't mind me asking?
Caller: Wish I could tell you. Sorry, but you look underage on the TV
Presenter: Presenter: I hate sleeping on the bus more than anything else on the face of the earth. The last time that happened to me, I woke up after I almost fell off the seat…..
LAUGHTER
Presenter:….then to make matters worse, I discovered that my stop was seven stops behind me
LAUGHTER
V18: Did you sustain that head injury when you fell off the seat
Presenter: I was born like thIS and I did not fall of the seat
V18: SORRY! Did you fall on your face? That would have been so funny
LAUGHTER
Caller: Next time make sure you travel with some vodka, it will keep you awake
LAUGHTER
Presenter: Thanks but no thanks. I did not say I had a problem staying awake on the train.
Caller: I will try not to fall asleep on any public transport again
V18: Please try hard
Presenter: ESPECIALLY, If you are the type who snores as the other passengers giggle quietly and point at you
V18: There are nobler ways to embarrass yourself
Caller: I know…I’ll just have to travel with my little bottle of vodka
LAUGHTER
Presenter: Under the circumstances, I would advise you to try an energy drink
APPLAUSE
Presenter: So what do you do to help if you see a fellow passenger falling asleep
V18: Ask him/her for his/her number
LAUGHTER
Caller: Encourage him/her to stand up
Presenter: He/she will probably knock you out. Some people don’t like to woken up
Caller: How about blowing a loud whistle
V18: Or just whistle loudly
NB: Once again, the caller rejects the presemter's suggested chit chat topics - bassmaster classic 2011, ricky lee kalichun, Complex Migraine Behind CBS Reporter's On-Air Health Scare, Presidents Day Weekend Free Shipping At The Disney Store, Daytona 500 Starting Lineup: Jeff Gordon, Kurt Busch Lead 2011 Pack, Auburn tree-killer the talk of Alabama,Dale Earnhardt, 10 years later: Everything changed that day, Rdio gets a new look for iPhone slacker, radiohead king of limbs mediafire and Should state employees have collective-bargaining rights?
V18: I slept like a baby on the train this evening, even though I hit my head on the window a few times
LAUGHTER
Caller: That happened to me this morning... It’s good to be woken up before you do anything embarrassing, but not in that fashion
Presenter: I fell asleep on the train but was woken up when I farted loudly.
LAUGHTER
Caller: I think it’s hilarious when people wake up themselves by falling forward
LAUGHTER and APPLAUSE
V18: Even more hilarious when the person holding a SLEEPY baby is also drifting off to sleep
Audience: AHHHHH!
V18: Caller, you must have been very tired this morning. So what were you doing last night, if you don't mind me asking?
Caller: Wish I could tell you. Sorry, but you look underage on the TV
Presenter: Presenter: I hate sleeping on the bus more than anything else on the face of the earth. The last time that happened to me, I woke up after I almost fell off the seat…..
LAUGHTER
Presenter:….then to make matters worse, I discovered that my stop was seven stops behind me
LAUGHTER
V18: Did you sustain that head injury when you fell off the seat
Presenter: I was born like thIS and I did not fall of the seat
V18: SORRY! Did you fall on your face? That would have been so funny
LAUGHTER
Caller: Next time make sure you travel with some vodka, it will keep you awake
LAUGHTER
Presenter: Thanks but no thanks. I did not say I had a problem staying awake on the train.
Caller: I will try not to fall asleep on any public transport again
V18: Please try hard
Presenter: ESPECIALLY, If you are the type who snores as the other passengers giggle quietly and point at you
V18: There are nobler ways to embarrass yourself
Caller: I know…I’ll just have to travel with my little bottle of vodka
LAUGHTER
Presenter: Under the circumstances, I would advise you to try an energy drink
APPLAUSE
Presenter: So what do you do to help if you see a fellow passenger falling asleep
V18: Ask him/her for his/her number
LAUGHTER
Caller: Encourage him/her to stand up
Presenter: He/she will probably knock you out. Some people don’t like to woken up
Caller: How about blowing a loud whistle
V18: Or just whistle loudly
NB: Once again, the caller rejects the presemter's suggested chit chat topics - bassmaster classic 2011, ricky lee kalichun, Complex Migraine Behind CBS Reporter's On-Air Health Scare, Presidents Day Weekend Free Shipping At The Disney Store, Daytona 500 Starting Lineup: Jeff Gordon, Kurt Busch Lead 2011 Pack, Auburn tree-killer the talk of Alabama,Dale Earnhardt, 10 years later: Everything changed that day, Rdio gets a new look for iPhone slacker, radiohead king of limbs mediafire and Should state employees have collective-bargaining rights?
men lie, women lie
Presenter: F40, the light is on you, get ready...Caller, you're ON
Caller: If my dates did not ask too many questions, do you think I would lie to them?
F40: Hell No! You sound like a decent person
Presenter: Poor souls...So what solution would you suggest F40?
Caller: I have met too many women who told me they were single when they were actually in relationships.
F40: I have never lied about whether I am single or not.
Caller: Me neither….but I am not ruling it out from now on…
Presenter: Caller, did you lie to your dates because you thought they would not accept you for you?
Woman in the audience: Whether you are a man or a woman, the fact is being lied to at the start of a relationship is almost inescapable…
MURMUR OF APPROVAL AND DISAPPROVAL FROM THE AUDIENCE
Presenter: Does that make it right though, caller?
Caller: No. But it’s a fact of life
Presenter: Lying to a potential partner is unjustifiable…Does anyone tell the truth anymore
F40: I do….
Presenter: Well done….
F40: sometimes
NB: The presenter's suggested topics were - The Office, "Threat Level Midnight": Best Lines of the Night, Miguel Cabrera unlikely to report on time; likely needs doctor to sign off first, 'Community': What do Levar Burton and Troy have in common?, Harvey Updyke Now Well Known, Cassy Herkelman: Herkelman Wrestling Her Way Too Equality,
Caller: If my dates did not ask too many questions, do you think I would lie to them?
F40: Hell No! You sound like a decent person
Presenter: Poor souls...So what solution would you suggest F40?
Caller: I have met too many women who told me they were single when they were actually in relationships.
F40: I have never lied about whether I am single or not.
Caller: Me neither….but I am not ruling it out from now on…
Presenter: Caller, did you lie to your dates because you thought they would not accept you for you?
Woman in the audience: Whether you are a man or a woman, the fact is being lied to at the start of a relationship is almost inescapable…
MURMUR OF APPROVAL AND DISAPPROVAL FROM THE AUDIENCE
Presenter: Does that make it right though, caller?
Caller: No. But it’s a fact of life
Presenter: Lying to a potential partner is unjustifiable…Does anyone tell the truth anymore
F40: I do….
Presenter: Well done….
F40: sometimes
NB: The presenter's suggested topics were - The Office, "Threat Level Midnight": Best Lines of the Night, Miguel Cabrera unlikely to report on time; likely needs doctor to sign off first, 'Community': What do Levar Burton and Troy have in common?, Harvey Updyke Now Well Known, Cassy Herkelman: Herkelman Wrestling Her Way Too Equality,
Sunday, 13 February 2011
Chit Chatting On - Dating an ex partner
Presenter: Caller, you're ON...What would you like to chit chat on?
Caller: Is it right to go out with an ex partner?
N13: I think an ex is a past mistake...which should not be repeated. Once bitten twice shy.
Caller: I will love my ex. We got to together at the wrong time. The time was not right and we were not ready. So she decided to call it a day. I am ready to give her a second chance anytime. There is no one else for me but her.
N13: Dating an ex may seem okay for a short time, but as soon as the honeymoon is over, the old issues will re-surface and new ones will emerge. So they may end jeopardizing the prospect staying friends afterwards....I should know…..
Presenter: SO you are caught up in that situation now?
N13: Not me! My best friend. He is dating an ex right now.
Caller: So how's the re-kindled relationship
N13: He had moved to a different city, just to avoid her. So how do you think this re-kindled relationship is going?
Presenter: I don't know…. that's why I asked you.
N13: He told her, how much he cried whenever he looked at the photograph she left him. She told him she did not want to get back with him because it would never work. He cried louder and harder. She gave in....the rest, as they say....is misery
NB - THE PRESENTER'S SUGGESTED TOPICS WERE - Nokia-Microsoft's marriage: a marginal future, Pink Floyd's David Gilmour's son charged over royal convey attack, Manchester United's Wayne Rooney hails 'best ever' goal, Amy Winehouse Booed Off Stage, UK calls for international action on Mubarak assets, Elizabeth Taylor is Alive but Hospitalized, The Bachelor' has a Valentine tryst on Anguilla, Another quake hits Chilean coast, Elop gambles Nokia's future on Microsoft partnership, Dodge Viper alive and well, Gilles says,
Caller: Is it right to go out with an ex partner?
N13: I think an ex is a past mistake...which should not be repeated. Once bitten twice shy.
Caller: I will love my ex. We got to together at the wrong time. The time was not right and we were not ready. So she decided to call it a day. I am ready to give her a second chance anytime. There is no one else for me but her.
N13: Dating an ex may seem okay for a short time, but as soon as the honeymoon is over, the old issues will re-surface and new ones will emerge. So they may end jeopardizing the prospect staying friends afterwards....I should know…..
Presenter: SO you are caught up in that situation now?
N13: Not me! My best friend. He is dating an ex right now.
Caller: So how's the re-kindled relationship
N13: He had moved to a different city, just to avoid her. So how do you think this re-kindled relationship is going?
Presenter: I don't know…. that's why I asked you.
N13: He told her, how much he cried whenever he looked at the photograph she left him. She told him she did not want to get back with him because it would never work. He cried louder and harder. She gave in....the rest, as they say....is misery
NB - THE PRESENTER'S SUGGESTED TOPICS WERE - Nokia-Microsoft's marriage: a marginal future, Pink Floyd's David Gilmour's son charged over royal convey attack, Manchester United's Wayne Rooney hails 'best ever' goal, Amy Winehouse Booed Off Stage, UK calls for international action on Mubarak assets, Elizabeth Taylor is Alive but Hospitalized, The Bachelor' has a Valentine tryst on Anguilla, Another quake hits Chilean coast, Elop gambles Nokia's future on Microsoft partnership, Dodge Viper alive and well, Gilles says,
Saturday, 12 February 2011
Chit Chatting On - Football match on valentine's day
Caller: This could be my best valentine’s day ever…
J5: What do you mean?
Caller: I would love to see Fulham play Chelsea…
Presenter: ….(laughing) And your special lady wants you to wine and dine her on the same day as well…Dilemma dilemma
LAUGHTER
J5: If I were you, I would take her for a meal down the pub.
Presenter: That would create a bigger problem. I bet she wants to be taken to a fancy restaurant….
Caller: Precisely!
J5: How about treating her on the day before Valentine ’s Day. On your way from the match on valentine’s day, buy her some flowers, chocolates and her favourite lingerie….
CHEERS
Presenter: I have a better idea. It will be even greater if you live in a large house…Simply hide her presents somewhere in the house. Then leave her some difficult clues. By the time, she work out them out, you will probably be back from the match.
APPLAUSE AND LAUGHTER
J5: Just make sure the presents will be worth all the hassle. Otherwise, the whole plan could backfire and make her VERY angry with you.
Caller: Thanks guys. Actually, I was thinking of watching the match, with her, and then take her out the weekend after valentine’s day.
Presenter: Yes! I can just imagine her excitement. She will be thrilled.
LAUGHTER
J5: Pick an argument with her, and then storm out of the house
Presenter: Go and see the match. With or without her. You can always compensate for that the following valentine's day...
MURMURS OF DISSAPROVAL
J5: If I were you, I would take her for a meal down the pub.
Presenter: That would create a bigger problem. Every girl wants to be taken to a fancy restaurant on valentine's day...not a pub...
APPLAUSE
Caller: I know
J5: How about treating her on the day before valentine’s day. On your way from the match on valentine’s day, buy her some flowers, chocolates and her favourite lingerie….
CHEERS
Presenter: I have a better idea. It will be even greater if you live in a large house…Simply hide her presents somewhere in the house. Then leave her some clues as to the location. By the time, she work out the clues, you will probably be back from the match.
APPLAUSE AND LAUGHTER
J5: Make sure the present will be worth all the hassle. Otherwise, the whole plan could backfire and make her angry.
LAUGHTER
J5: Pick an argument with her, then storm out of the house. Return after the match or the following day.
Presenter: It’s not so bad if you mess up this valentine’s for her, you could compensate for that next valentine’s day.
Caller: You call yourself a role model?
Presenter: No!
LAUGHTER
Caller: You are advising me on how to get ditched by my girlfriend
NB - Suggested topics for the chit chat were: Lady gaga born this way,van persie, fabregas
J5: What do you mean?
Caller: I would love to see Fulham play Chelsea…
Presenter: ….(laughing) And your special lady wants you to wine and dine her on the same day as well…Dilemma dilemma
LAUGHTER
J5: If I were you, I would take her for a meal down the pub.
Presenter: That would create a bigger problem. I bet she wants to be taken to a fancy restaurant….
Caller: Precisely!
J5: How about treating her on the day before Valentine ’s Day. On your way from the match on valentine’s day, buy her some flowers, chocolates and her favourite lingerie….
CHEERS
Presenter: I have a better idea. It will be even greater if you live in a large house…Simply hide her presents somewhere in the house. Then leave her some difficult clues. By the time, she work out them out, you will probably be back from the match.
APPLAUSE AND LAUGHTER
J5: Just make sure the presents will be worth all the hassle. Otherwise, the whole plan could backfire and make her VERY angry with you.
Caller: Thanks guys. Actually, I was thinking of watching the match, with her, and then take her out the weekend after valentine’s day.
Presenter: Yes! I can just imagine her excitement. She will be thrilled.
LAUGHTER
J5: Pick an argument with her, and then storm out of the house
Presenter: Go and see the match. With or without her. You can always compensate for that the following valentine's day...
MURMURS OF DISSAPROVAL
J5: If I were you, I would take her for a meal down the pub.
Presenter: That would create a bigger problem. Every girl wants to be taken to a fancy restaurant on valentine's day...not a pub...
APPLAUSE
Caller: I know
J5: How about treating her on the day before valentine’s day. On your way from the match on valentine’s day, buy her some flowers, chocolates and her favourite lingerie….
CHEERS
Presenter: I have a better idea. It will be even greater if you live in a large house…Simply hide her presents somewhere in the house. Then leave her some clues as to the location. By the time, she work out the clues, you will probably be back from the match.
APPLAUSE AND LAUGHTER
J5: Make sure the present will be worth all the hassle. Otherwise, the whole plan could backfire and make her angry.
LAUGHTER
J5: Pick an argument with her, then storm out of the house. Return after the match or the following day.
Presenter: It’s not so bad if you mess up this valentine’s for her, you could compensate for that next valentine’s day.
Caller: You call yourself a role model?
Presenter: No!
LAUGHTER
Caller: You are advising me on how to get ditched by my girlfriend
NB - Suggested topics for the chit chat were: Lady gaga born this way,van persie, fabregas
Thursday, 10 February 2011
Chit Chatting On - Scrapping EMA
Presenter: Caller, you are ON
Caller: What do you think life will be like for 16-18 without the EMA
L13: What’s that?
Caller: What? How old are you, if you don't mind?
L13: Never mind
Caller: Anyway, EMA is a support allowance of £30 that the government gives to college students 6th form students....
L13: ...( interrupting) Why can’t I have that?
NB - The presenter's suggested topics were; Former MP Eric Illsley jailed for expenses fraud, Nokia Talks Cell Phones with Microsoft, Mubarak resignation rumours grow, Pete Wentz unhappy in Dominican Republic, How IE9 uses app reputation to axe malware, Carmelo Anthony Will Come to New York, Not LA, F 1 driver Kubica out of intensive care, Akamai Shares Plunge On Disappointing 1Q Revenue Outlook, Capello rejects deal claims
Caller: What do you think life will be like for 16-18 without the EMA
L13: What’s that?
Caller: What? How old are you, if you don't mind?
L13: Never mind
Caller: Anyway, EMA is a support allowance of £30 that the government gives to college students 6th form students....
L13: ...( interrupting) Why can’t I have that?
NB - The presenter's suggested topics were; Former MP Eric Illsley jailed for expenses fraud, Nokia Talks Cell Phones with Microsoft, Mubarak resignation rumours grow, Pete Wentz unhappy in Dominican Republic, How IE9 uses app reputation to axe malware, Carmelo Anthony Will Come to New York, Not LA, F 1 driver Kubica out of intensive care, Akamai Shares Plunge On Disappointing 1Q Revenue Outlook, Capello rejects deal claims
Wednesday, 9 February 2011
Chit Chatting On - minimum price for alcohol
Presenter: …..Welcome back to Chit Chat TV…..
APPLAUSE
Presenter:.....The suggested topics for this round are: 17 Year Old Eliza Kruger Dating New York Jets QB Mark Sanchez , Julia Hurley, Former R-Rated Waitress, Goes to Washington, Jordan tribes break taboo by targeting queen, Chavez to ask board to change bad weather make-up day, Remembering Marvin Sease: What Happened to the Blues Legend, Coppell teachers say school district pressured them to vote, Jane Harman says Patriot Act extension passed, but it didn't, Miley Cyrus New Man Joshua Bowman Hang Out In LA — Did He Attend, Catholic Church approves confession app….
APPLAUSE
Presenter: K89, please stand. You have been hi lighted...
APPLAUSE
Presenter: Caller, welcome to Chit Chatting On. You are ON!....
Cheers and laughter
Presenter: ...so Which of my suggested topics do you wish to Chit Chat on?
Caller: None...
LAUGHTER
Presenter: It's a free country.. I am just sorry the 'lucky' person on whom the dancing light will rest shortly..
LAUGHTER
Caller: ....The idea to impose a minimum price on alcohol is a joke...
K89: (giggling) I agree. It’s gonna be harder to get pissed? The 38p can of beer taste like its made of pig urine....
LAUGHTER
Caller: I know….One of my mates is into brewing peers. I think I will have to join him..
K89: Good luck with that..Can you believe it, It now cost an additional £2 to buy a bottle of wine..
Caller: One has to dig deep for at least £5…I did not know that you can get a can of beer for 38p.
K89: Of course! I got some value pack of 6 at ASDA yesterday
Caller: No offence, but those are for girls...not me
K89: None taken. I am not too bothered about it. I am into healthy living these days.
Caller: What does that entail?
K89: Watching what I eat and drink and jogging every…
Caller: Your doctor’s order?
K89: Not really…My belly is growing too big
Caller: I know what you mean. I am not too fussed about what I eat. And I am not fussed about putting on weight either…. I love hanging out with my mates on the weekend with some lager, cigarettes and kebab
K89: I hear you
Caller: No minimum price gonna stop me drinking…I will shoplift it if I have to...
Audience murmurs disapproval and boos
Caller: You posh lot all acting like you don’t drink alcohol. Everyone does it. Not just us who you dismiss as chavs…
TV Presenter: Caller..
Caller: You might scoff at ASDA brand beers, but you still drink…
TV Presenter: PLEASE!
Caller: Sorry man, I have a weakness…I’ll shut up and get a cold beer.
APPLAUSE
Presenter:.....The suggested topics for this round are: 17 Year Old Eliza Kruger Dating New York Jets QB Mark Sanchez , Julia Hurley, Former R-Rated Waitress, Goes to Washington, Jordan tribes break taboo by targeting queen, Chavez to ask board to change bad weather make-up day, Remembering Marvin Sease: What Happened to the Blues Legend, Coppell teachers say school district pressured them to vote, Jane Harman says Patriot Act extension passed, but it didn't, Miley Cyrus New Man Joshua Bowman Hang Out In LA — Did He Attend, Catholic Church approves confession app….
APPLAUSE
Presenter: K89, please stand. You have been hi lighted...
APPLAUSE
Presenter: Caller, welcome to Chit Chatting On. You are ON!....
Cheers and laughter
Presenter: ...so Which of my suggested topics do you wish to Chit Chat on?
Caller: None...
LAUGHTER
Presenter: It's a free country.. I am just sorry the 'lucky' person on whom the dancing light will rest shortly..
LAUGHTER
Caller: ....The idea to impose a minimum price on alcohol is a joke...
K89: (giggling) I agree. It’s gonna be harder to get pissed? The 38p can of beer taste like its made of pig urine....
LAUGHTER
Caller: I know….One of my mates is into brewing peers. I think I will have to join him..
K89: Good luck with that..Can you believe it, It now cost an additional £2 to buy a bottle of wine..
Caller: One has to dig deep for at least £5…I did not know that you can get a can of beer for 38p.
K89: Of course! I got some value pack of 6 at ASDA yesterday
Caller: No offence, but those are for girls...not me
K89: None taken. I am not too bothered about it. I am into healthy living these days.
Caller: What does that entail?
K89: Watching what I eat and drink and jogging every…
Caller: Your doctor’s order?
K89: Not really…My belly is growing too big
Caller: I know what you mean. I am not too fussed about what I eat. And I am not fussed about putting on weight either…. I love hanging out with my mates on the weekend with some lager, cigarettes and kebab
K89: I hear you
Caller: No minimum price gonna stop me drinking…I will shoplift it if I have to...
Audience murmurs disapproval and boos
Caller: You posh lot all acting like you don’t drink alcohol. Everyone does it. Not just us who you dismiss as chavs…
TV Presenter: Caller..
Caller: You might scoff at ASDA brand beers, but you still drink…
TV Presenter: PLEASE!
Caller: Sorry man, I have a weakness…I’ll shut up and get a cold beer.
Saturday, 5 February 2011
Chit Chatting On - 20 percent vat
TV Presenter: ....Welcome back to Chit Chatting On -
APPLAUSE
Presenter: ....Suggested CHIT CHAT topics tonight are: Brooke Wilberger back in TV spotlight, Zac Efron: Night Out with Teresa Palmer, Spartacus: Gods of the Arena "Missio" TV Teaser, Nik Pace Braylon Edwards in Child Support Payment Battle, Brooke Wilberger back in TV spotlight, Magic's Arenas served court petition during game, Purgatory inmate ID'd after his death, Laura Flores, llena de energía, ObamaCare vs. Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness, Novela Triunfo del Amor Capitulo 75....
Audience whoops and whistles
TV Presenter: Audience, don't be alarmed by the dancing light hovering over your heads. If it rests on you, it means you have been chosen to chit chat on one of those topics, with me and one of our viewers...
Audience cheers loudly
Presenter: The viewer will start a conversation on any of the topics as soon as I declared him/her as being ON....
APPLAUSE
Presenter: We will not know what topic the caller wants to talk about until he/she speaks...There will be no time to devise an outline or organise our thoughts...We will to just think on our feet.
LAUGHTER
TV Presenter: The light is dancing around now...Are you ready?
Audience: YESSSS!!
TV Presenter: Great! Well, let us do it....seat number B65, you have been HI LIGHTED.. I hope you have knowledge or opinions on the topics....I don’t...
B65: Oh Goodness! I hope I will not come last
Presenter: This is not a race, I'm afraid..And please remember that the caller is free to reject our suggested topics by start the conversation on a topic of his/her choice...
Audience grows wild.
TV Presenter:...Caller no.1, you are ON
Caller: ...So B65, Do you think we should protest against the 40% income tax rate?
B65: That rate doesn’t apply to me, I’m afraid. I am on low income
TV Presenter: Caller, remember, you told my assistant off-air that you wanted to talk about the VAT increase
Caller: Sorry. Okay. I strongly oppose the VAT increase...Because it means I will have to start shopping at ASDA and TESCO...
B65: ...On the other hand, I will have to start cutting back on my shopping at Netto...and starve.
Caller: What is the world coming to?
B65: There is a rumour that it is gonna end in 2012
Caller: The government will not be happy...
B65: I know...it would lose out on the £13 billion it hope to get from the increase in VAT
Caller: My girlfriend can forget about eating in restaurants on her future birthdays..
Vigorous hand-clapping in the studio
Presenter: They were having a great rapport, so I did not want to butt in...that’s why I did not join the chit chat
LAUGHTER
B65: That’s not fair
APPLAUSE
Presenter: ....Suggested CHIT CHAT topics tonight are: Brooke Wilberger back in TV spotlight, Zac Efron: Night Out with Teresa Palmer, Spartacus: Gods of the Arena "Missio" TV Teaser, Nik Pace Braylon Edwards in Child Support Payment Battle, Brooke Wilberger back in TV spotlight, Magic's Arenas served court petition during game, Purgatory inmate ID'd after his death, Laura Flores, llena de energía, ObamaCare vs. Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness, Novela Triunfo del Amor Capitulo 75....
Audience whoops and whistles
TV Presenter: Audience, don't be alarmed by the dancing light hovering over your heads. If it rests on you, it means you have been chosen to chit chat on one of those topics, with me and one of our viewers...
Audience cheers loudly
Presenter: The viewer will start a conversation on any of the topics as soon as I declared him/her as being ON....
APPLAUSE
Presenter: We will not know what topic the caller wants to talk about until he/she speaks...There will be no time to devise an outline or organise our thoughts...We will to just think on our feet.
LAUGHTER
TV Presenter: The light is dancing around now...Are you ready?
Audience: YESSSS!!
TV Presenter: Great! Well, let us do it....seat number B65, you have been HI LIGHTED.. I hope you have knowledge or opinions on the topics....I don’t...
B65: Oh Goodness! I hope I will not come last
Presenter: This is not a race, I'm afraid..And please remember that the caller is free to reject our suggested topics by start the conversation on a topic of his/her choice...
Audience grows wild.
TV Presenter:...Caller no.1, you are ON
Caller: ...So B65, Do you think we should protest against the 40% income tax rate?
B65: That rate doesn’t apply to me, I’m afraid. I am on low income
TV Presenter: Caller, remember, you told my assistant off-air that you wanted to talk about the VAT increase
Caller: Sorry. Okay. I strongly oppose the VAT increase...Because it means I will have to start shopping at ASDA and TESCO...
B65: ...On the other hand, I will have to start cutting back on my shopping at Netto...and starve.
Caller: What is the world coming to?
B65: There is a rumour that it is gonna end in 2012
Caller: The government will not be happy...
B65: I know...it would lose out on the £13 billion it hope to get from the increase in VAT
Caller: My girlfriend can forget about eating in restaurants on her future birthdays..
Vigorous hand-clapping in the studio
Presenter: They were having a great rapport, so I did not want to butt in...that’s why I did not join the chit chat
LAUGHTER
B65: That’s not fair
Wednesday, 2 February 2011
Chit Chatting On: Adults' Only Flights
TV Presenter: Welcome to the very first episode of CHIT CHATTING ON
Studio Audience whoops and cheers.
TV Presenter: (addressing two excitable girls in the audience) If you get on the stage tonight, it must be difficult to get you off....How much coffee and Fizzy did you have?
Girl1: (piercing laughter) lots. More than half a litre.I could talk for ages without stopping..
Presenter: I can tell
Girl2: If you drink just a little of coffee and fizzy, you are missing out
Presenter: I drink only milk..I love my sleep
LAUGHTER
TV Presenter: There may be many copy cats in the near future, but CHIT CHATTING ON will go down in history as the first show to facilitate CHIT CHAT among studio audience, the presenter and viewers..... This should be interesting..
APPLAUSE
Presenter:...I will start by suggestiing some topics of discussion for the first round. There are 10 of them. Are you ready to write them down?
Audience: YES!!!!!
Presenter: Great!grab paper and pen. Ladies, if you can't find a pen, just grab your eye-liner...
Audience claps and cheers.
TV Presenter: For your information, I'll suggest the topics in a particular order.... However, I'm not at liberty to say what order....
AUDIENCE CHUCKLES
Presenter: For your viewing pleasure, the sugggested topics are: (prolonged drumroll) Aep Ohio, cctv 4, centerpoint energy, groundhog day, national signing day, punxsutawney phil 2011, pro mubarak, tim jernigan....
AUDIENCE APPLAUSE
Presenter: As you know, chit chatting is easy as abc...One of our viewers will call in and start a conversation on any of those topics....
APPLAUSE
Presenter: Bear in mind, that the viewer is under no obligation to accept our suggested topics - he/she can start a conversation on a topic of his/her choice...The challenge is for me, and a selected audience member to carry on the chit chat...
APPLAUSE
Presenter: G123, you have been Hi lighted,(DANCING LIGHT RESTS ON G123) so get ready...Caller, you are ON
Caller: Hi. On your flight to Australia, a couples’ kids are screaming and kicking the back of your seat, what is the right thing to do?
Presenter: G123, she wish to chit chat on Adults' Only Flights, so go ahead....
LAUGHTER
G123: I need my sleep... on all flights. Short or long. So I would ask them to spank the kids, or warn them that if they fail to do so, I have no qualms about doing it myself. I guarantee an incident free flight after that.
Caller: If the kids are old enough to kick and scream for more than 5 minutes, then someone should discipline the parents...
Presenter: Hopefully the flight attendant would offer air plugs to the other passengers before things get ugly
Caller: Adults with too many kids are kids that are too young should not be allowed on the flight... And no kids should be on a flight if its 9pm or later. They should be in bed...
G123: ..Those kids should be in school
LAUGHTER
Presenter: Only a courageous couple would travel alone with more than one kid...
Caller:...I would be terrified travelling with just one
LAUGHTER
G123: The bottom line is bad-parenting. I can control any number of kids on a flight... and I am not even a parent
Caller: I wonder what the parents were up to while their kids go wild
G123: Failure stop your kids driving other passengers mad, especially on a long flight, is sheer impertinence
Presenter: Couldn’t it be worse? I have had vomit on the seat next to me...on a 18 hour flight
Audience, G123, Caller: Yuck
G123: I have had worse, someone coughing every 5 seconds
Caller: I had no choice but to share my seat with the passenger next to me. His seat was not big enough for his bottom
LAUGHTER
Audience member: Wanna hear how what seemed to be my best flight, turned into a nightmare
Presenter: Who are you...? Never mind...You have not been Hi lighted, but go ahead..next time do not speak unless the dancing light rests on you. This goes for everyone in the audience. Please!
Audience member: Sorry, thanks. When I took my seat...on the flight, I noticed that the entire row was empty. Best flight ever, I thought...
Applause
Audience member:....you applauded too soon...Shortly afterwards, a couple with 4 kids sat behind me. The kids yelled at one another and kicked the back of my seat for the duration of the 15 hour flight....
Audience: Ahhhhhhhhh!
Audience member: I got ear plugs from the flight attendants but they were useless.
PRESENTER: I don’t understand, why did’nt you do something about it
Audience: I would have sworn at the parents, but they did not speak English..The cocktails kept me quiet though
LAUGHTER
G123: It may be cruel to have them thrown off the plane, but how about locking them in the toilets?
Audience: BOOO!
Audience member: One of the flight attendant’s voice sounded like Marge Simpson’s.
Studio Audience whoops and cheers.
TV Presenter: (addressing two excitable girls in the audience) If you get on the stage tonight, it must be difficult to get you off....How much coffee and Fizzy did you have?
Girl1: (piercing laughter) lots. More than half a litre.I could talk for ages without stopping..
Presenter: I can tell
Girl2: If you drink just a little of coffee and fizzy, you are missing out
Presenter: I drink only milk..I love my sleep
LAUGHTER
TV Presenter: There may be many copy cats in the near future, but CHIT CHATTING ON will go down in history as the first show to facilitate CHIT CHAT among studio audience, the presenter and viewers..... This should be interesting..
APPLAUSE
Presenter:...I will start by suggestiing some topics of discussion for the first round. There are 10 of them. Are you ready to write them down?
Audience: YES!!!!!
Presenter: Great!grab paper and pen. Ladies, if you can't find a pen, just grab your eye-liner...
Audience claps and cheers.
TV Presenter: For your information, I'll suggest the topics in a particular order.... However, I'm not at liberty to say what order....
AUDIENCE CHUCKLES
Presenter: For your viewing pleasure, the sugggested topics are: (prolonged drumroll) Aep Ohio, cctv 4, centerpoint energy, groundhog day, national signing day, punxsutawney phil 2011, pro mubarak, tim jernigan....
AUDIENCE APPLAUSE
Presenter: As you know, chit chatting is easy as abc...One of our viewers will call in and start a conversation on any of those topics....
APPLAUSE
Presenter: Bear in mind, that the viewer is under no obligation to accept our suggested topics - he/she can start a conversation on a topic of his/her choice...The challenge is for me, and a selected audience member to carry on the chit chat...
APPLAUSE
Presenter: G123, you have been Hi lighted,(DANCING LIGHT RESTS ON G123) so get ready...Caller, you are ON
Caller: Hi. On your flight to Australia, a couples’ kids are screaming and kicking the back of your seat, what is the right thing to do?
Presenter: G123, she wish to chit chat on Adults' Only Flights, so go ahead....
LAUGHTER
G123: I need my sleep... on all flights. Short or long. So I would ask them to spank the kids, or warn them that if they fail to do so, I have no qualms about doing it myself. I guarantee an incident free flight after that.
Caller: If the kids are old enough to kick and scream for more than 5 minutes, then someone should discipline the parents...
Presenter: Hopefully the flight attendant would offer air plugs to the other passengers before things get ugly
Caller: Adults with too many kids are kids that are too young should not be allowed on the flight... And no kids should be on a flight if its 9pm or later. They should be in bed...
G123: ..Those kids should be in school
LAUGHTER
Presenter: Only a courageous couple would travel alone with more than one kid...
Caller:...I would be terrified travelling with just one
LAUGHTER
G123: The bottom line is bad-parenting. I can control any number of kids on a flight... and I am not even a parent
Caller: I wonder what the parents were up to while their kids go wild
G123: Failure stop your kids driving other passengers mad, especially on a long flight, is sheer impertinence
Presenter: Couldn’t it be worse? I have had vomit on the seat next to me...on a 18 hour flight
Audience, G123, Caller: Yuck
G123: I have had worse, someone coughing every 5 seconds
Caller: I had no choice but to share my seat with the passenger next to me. His seat was not big enough for his bottom
LAUGHTER
Audience member: Wanna hear how what seemed to be my best flight, turned into a nightmare
Presenter: Who are you...? Never mind...You have not been Hi lighted, but go ahead..next time do not speak unless the dancing light rests on you. This goes for everyone in the audience. Please!
Audience member: Sorry, thanks. When I took my seat...on the flight, I noticed that the entire row was empty. Best flight ever, I thought...
Applause
Audience member:....you applauded too soon...Shortly afterwards, a couple with 4 kids sat behind me. The kids yelled at one another and kicked the back of my seat for the duration of the 15 hour flight....
Audience: Ahhhhhhhhh!
Audience member: I got ear plugs from the flight attendants but they were useless.
PRESENTER: I don’t understand, why did’nt you do something about it
Audience: I would have sworn at the parents, but they did not speak English..The cocktails kept me quiet though
LAUGHTER
G123: It may be cruel to have them thrown off the plane, but how about locking them in the toilets?
Audience: BOOO!
Audience member: One of the flight attendant’s voice sounded like Marge Simpson’s.
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